Bittersweet Solstice
by LoveMaow
Summary: After practicing late into the night Kuroko enters the change room and soon meets his light; Kagami. Things lead to places Kuroko is unsure and ashamed of. What will develop? This contains rape, yaoi smut, sex, and really a mix of emotions swirled in one. There will be more.
1. Silent Rape

Well wrote this in the spur of the moment. I will be continuing sheep and lyre, as soon as i find where i put my removable drive.

ummm.. this is rated M for a reason... so you know, oh and this is a yaoi. Male/Male... So you all know.

(side note: i do not own these characters but i own the right to make fabulous smut about them... :D )

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A simple desire; one that burned deep in their hearts. The game connected them, brought them together as nothing else could. The squeak of shoes against the hardwood floor, the cheering from the over zealous crowd, and the thumping of their hearts as they pushed their limits. Rushing adrenaline helping them reach their goals, and leaving room for their hopes and dreams.

Kuroko panted heavily, sweat dripping down the nape of his neck, as his body shook. He couldn't take much more, his heart nor his body. He lifted his arms, arching his back and released. The orange ball hit the hoop, falling to the floor with a deafening thud. Kuroko grit his teeth, in frustration, as much as he loved this game the lack of skills he possessed was unfair. He picked up the ball, feeling the coarseness against his calloused hands. He had been practicing to the point where his once soft hands were growing rough. **"At this rate, there'll be too much light to cast a shadow,"** His quiet voice echoed in the empty gym.

He left the gym, entering the change room; he had to go home, he didn't have that kind of stamina. He pulled his shirt away from his skin, damp with sweat, and tossed it into his bag. It felt refreshing standing there, not moving. He had pushed his body to the limit, and it now needed a break. His eyes shot open at the sound of footsteps, they were much too heavy to be a ghost. There was only one person it could be; Kagami.

The door opened and the large man entered the small room. Kuroko turned looking at Kagami, his light. **"You're still here?**" Kagami said nonchalant, like he expected no less. His eyes wandered down Kuroko's pale chest.

Kuroko merely nodded, turning. The feeling of Kagami's eyes on him made him feel uneasy. He reached forward grabbing his towel, and began to dry himself off. **"You've been pushing yourself alot lately,"** Kagami voiced his concern. If kuroko kept this pace up, he'd hurt himself.

Kuroko shrugged, not bothering with a reply, he really didn't need too. They had lost, due to his error; Kuroko had caused the failure of their team. He would push himself, get better, so he wouldn't be the one to put the team through that again. Kagami's hand hit the locker, right next to kuroko, startling him. **"Kuroko,"** Kagami's voice was deep, almost husky in nature; it made Kuroko shiver.

The redhead closed the distance between them, his chest pressing against Kuroko. The blue haired male looked up at kagami, his eyes not showing any emotion. He didn't want to talk, he wanted to go home and sleep. But the big idiot was blocking him. **"What?"** Kuroko finally responded, short and not so sweet.

**"It's not your fault,"** He stated. He already knew his words would not console Kurko as it was far too late for that. Kagami moved closer yet again, pressing Kuroko against the cold metal locker. Kuroko hissed, his flesh touching the lockers was a shock to his warm body. However, another shock came to his body as he felt something against lower back. His face flushed, he didn't know what to say.

Kagami's large rough hands moved, touching the hem of his basketball shorts. Kuroko's eyes widened and he squirmed, **"What are you doing?"** He huffed, he was unsure of what Kagami intended. Kagami began to pull down Kuroko's shorts, releasing them once they were at kuroko's thighs. The thin fabric fell to his ankles, leaving only him in his underwear. Kuroko was confused, his light, his teammate was acting out of character. **"Kagami?"** He felt Kagami's large hands touch his back.

Kagami didn't respond, he just continued doing what he wanted. His fingers dug into Kuroko's flesh. Kuroko tried to move, tried to get away but failed. Kagami had more strength than him. Kagami fingers pulled at his briefs, trying to remove the restricting fabric. However, with each of his attempts failing kagami's frustration grew; until finally, the briefs fell to accompany kuroko's shorts.

Kuroko struggled, **"What are you doing? Idiot!"** Kuroko was beginning to panic, he didn't know what kagami was thinking. They were close friends but this wasn't... Kagami shifted moving his pants down, a low growl escaping his throat as his straining erection was released from the confines of his clothes. Kuroko shuddered as the hardened flesh touched him, he didn't know what to do.

Kagami moved his hips, rubbing his erection against the smooth flesh that was kuroko's lower back. He grunted as his increased his speed. **"Fuck,"** Kagami swore and bit his lip as his hand went down along Kuroko's hip.

Kuroko swore his body thrashing against the locker. He wanted to be invisible, this one time he wanted to be passed by.** "Bastard!"** Kuroko raised his arm and tried to push himself away from the lockers. **"Where are you touching?"**

Kagami fingers went lower, pressing against the firmness that was Kuroko's ass. **"Quiet,"** He hoarsly spoke as his fingers finally reached their destination. Kuroko arm went back, trying to elbow Kagami but failed miserably. He didn't want this,** "Stop touching me,"** He screamed as Kagami's finger pressed against his hole. It was rough as his muscles tensed and Kagami's finger entered him dry. Kuroko whimpered, tears forming and falling down his cheeks. Kagami was slow, although forceful he was gentle.

Kuroko cried softly, his pleas had gone unanswered and there was no way he could out muscle Kagami. Kagami's finger moved in and out, and soon Kagami was pushing another in. Kuroko's legs shook, the locker was the only thing keeping him standing.** "Ouch,"** He gasped as Kagami scizzored his fingers. **"ka... ga...mi,"** Kuroko slid down but was stopped as Kagami supported him.

Squirming against Kagami's grip, he bit his lip. He sobbed as he felt a mixture of shame, pain and disgust. He was starting to hyperventilate, and Kagami wasn't stopping. Kuroko's eyes shot open, as the calloused fingers were pulled out. **"Are you … finished?"** Kuroko gasped more tears falling from his blue eyes.

**"What?"** He yelped as He tried to flee, this time fighting for his life. Kagami held him firm, not allowing kuroko to escape. His feet kicked, his arm pushed and he tried to bite. **"Stop!"** He screamed as the tip of Kagami's member pushed against his ass. He flinched and tensed as Kagami pushed forward, his cock entering Kuroko. **"Ah, urgh... ha... no,"** Kuroko sobbed, as Kagami thrusted forward slipping his large cock into Kuroko. The full 7 and a half inches were inside Kuroko; Kagami's chest was pressed against Kuroko's back.

He lifted Kuroko up from the floor, moving back and then forward.** "Uggh,"** He weeped as Kagami bit his neck. He grit his teeth as he was entered, again and again. His face scrunched as he tried to breath. There was starting to be a new sensation, something different from before. He was feeling pleasure. He wanted to die, he shouldn't be feeling such a thing.

**"Hah,"** His voice squeaked as toes curled. His chest hurt, it was being smashed against the lockers each time Kagami entered him.

**"hah,"** Kagami huffed as he thrust forward, pushing himself closer to the edge. He was close to cumming, so close. He gripped Kuroko's hips and plunged himself deep in Kuroko, he leaned against Kuroko panting as he smelled Kuroko's scent. He grunted as he stilled, as he ejaculated He didn't bask in the aftermath of their sex. He pulled out, thin strains of semen dripped from Kuroko.

He released Kuroko, pulling up his pants. He looked at Kuroko, who began to slide down, his legs not holding him up. Kagami, the strong, always vocal male had been surprisingly silent. Not making his usual smart-Alec remarks and not being arrogant. Kuroko watched him leave, and once the door shut he began to cry.

He didn't understand what had happen, he was just... raped. And near the end it had started to feel good. He was sick, disgusting. He curled up, pulling his legs against him.


	2. Bedroom Words

I hope you all like chapter two :) There isn't sex, but there is development. There will be more sex in the future.

this is a yaoi. and it is rated m.

This lovely chapter is dedicated to Miss Mugiwara. thanks for chatting with me:) hope you enjoy this chapter.

(side note: i do not own these characters but i own the right to make fabulous smut about them... :D )

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Kuroko groaned, trying to turn over but failed. He had managed to tangle himself in his blankets, and was unsuccessful from escaping. He tried to sit up, but immediately lay back down due to the pain. His hips, his ass, his lower back, it all hurt. He lay there, in pain, on his back. He could hear his mother downstairs, humming some kind of tune. He had played the sick card and stayed home from school, not that he wasn't sick. Every time he thought about the previous night his stomach lurched.

He slowly sat up, grinding his teeth at the sharp pain that spread as he propped himself up. He sat there, reliving the events of last night. Kagami... had... His stomach lurched and his mouth watered. He squeezed his eyes as he stood, the pain was intense but he had to reach his bucket. He stumbled left to his desk, his pale hand gripping the desk as he grabbed his bucket. His stomach contents poured into the bucket as he hurled. His gut tightened as he ralph'd the rice porridge that his mother had made him.

He was miserable. He didn't know what to do or think, every thought made him sick and the constant pain just reminded him of it. He waddled, trying to keep the pain down as left his room. Slowly he descended the stairs, trying to keep his lower body from being jostled too much. He entered his kitchen, and washed his bucket in the sink.** "Kuroko, did you throw up again?"**His mother asked, Kuroko merely nodded. She sighed, walking forward and gently rubbed his back.

**"I'm going back upstairs,"**He said leaving his mother behind in the kitchen. He hobbled up his stairs and into his room, closing his door behind him. How was he suppose to face his mother? What would she think? He placed his bucket by his bed, he had a cold sweat, from going down stairs and coming back up. He needed to change, or he'd get worse. He took off his shirt, tossing it in his hamper. Freezing at the sound of footsteps on the stairs. He would have rushed to put on a shirt, but his muscles were too sore. A knock was on the door, followed by Riko entering his room.

**"You're mom let me in,"** She said smiling.** "She had to pick something up at the market so it's just us."** She chuckled, not the least bit threatened being in a room alone with Kuroko; and that did little to help Kuroko feel better. **"The other's didn't come cause i didn't want them getting sick."**She was trying to make Kuroko feel better, implying the others wanted to come.

**"Un,"**Kuroko turned, reaching for his shirt, but he didn't get it in time, and he began to feel deja vu. Riko reached forward touching his back causing Kuroko to panic and pull away in a rather dramatic way.

**"It looks like someone... bit you,"**Riko said, confusion showing on her face.

Kuroko turned hugging himself, trying to hide his body. He felt ashamed, and disgusting. He wanted to hide, and get away from himself. "**Number two got me,"**Kuroko spouted, trying to make a cover story. Even after Kagami had done such a thing to him, he couldn't just tell the truth.

**"Oh?"** Riko looked like she didn't believe it but her face softened, **"okay,"** She said gently Looking away as Kuroko dressed, she waited until Kuroko was dressed before holding out a bag. **"To get better,"**Kuroko accepted the bag and looked inside. There was vitamin drinks, a cold compress, and a packet of cold medicine.

**"Thanks,"**Kuroko said appreciating the gift. He grabbed one of the drinks and opened it, drinking it right there. Riko was happy to see him partake in a beverage.

**"Everyone sends their regards"** She spoke with a quiet voice rather than her normal yelling voice. She didn't know what to say, the atmosphere seemed tense. **"Well i going to head back to practice,"** She said not knowing what else to do or say and Kuroko wasn't making any move to chat; she wanted to escape. **"Be good, get better!"**She ordered before turning and leaving.

Kuroko watched her leaving, before sinking into his bed. He would sleep, that might help with his nausea and allow him to get away from his thoughts.

Kuroko's felt safe, a large cold hand against his forehead. His eyes fluttered open, expecting to see his father; however, it was someone he didn't want to see. He shot up, trying to get away from the owner of the hand; Kagami.

Kuroko's breathing was short and fast, is eyes wide with fear. Kagami was in his room, and touching him. Was he back for more? Kuroko couldn't handle more.

**"your fever has gone down,"** Kagami spoke, glancing at Kuroko who was cowering from him. He sighed before rubbing his forehead,** "Look, i'm not going to do anything."** Kuroko couldn't relax, he felt nausea.** "I just want to talk,"** He stated as he looked at Kuroko. He never wanted to hurt Kuroko like this, but last night he had lost control. **"Last night, I got out of control."**

Kuroko sneered with disdain, throwing one of his pillows at Kagami. **"You rapist!"** He cried, new tears falling.**"Why are you in my house?"** He tried to move back but he couldn't, his muscles hurt. **"You.. You..."**He sniffled as he held himself.

**"Tetsuya,"** Kagami called Kuroko by his first name softly, before sitting on the bed.** "I... am in love you,"** He said it straight. Not looking at Kuroko, no he had hurt him, raped him. He wasn't expecting to be forgiven, but he at least wanted to explain. **"I did such a thing,"** Kagami placed his head in his hands. **"I'm sorry."**

Kuroko moved his feet out, kicking Kagami off the bed. Kagami fell to the floor looking back at Kuroko,** "Sorry? That's what you have to say?"** Kuroko spat at Kagami, anger boiling. He was rarely mad, but at this moment he was furious. He stood up, cringing at the pain as he looked down at Kagami.** "How can i ever trust you again?"**Kuroko shook, he hadn't expected to confront Kagami on the incidents of last night.

Kagami picked himself up from the ground, looking at Kuroko, the man he hurt, the man he loved. Kagami jumped Kuroko, pushing him to the bed. Kuroko didn't say anything, he merely looked at Kagami with his clear blue eyes unwavering. **"You can trust me,"** Kagami spoke trying to keep his voice from shaking His red eyes stared into Kuroko's, unblinking.** "I... never wanted to hurt you. Just seeing you makes my heart ache, and makes my head muddled. I don't know what i would do without you."**

Kuroko frowned, **"Why would you not tell me this before? Your way of never wanting to hurt me was to raped me?"** He paused breathing deeply, trying not to cry. **"I hate you,"**He was enraged with Kagami. If he could he would take Kagami down. Hit him, and make him pay.

Kagami knew Kuroko would hate him, he had done something so horrible. **"What? If i told you my feelings, you'd just accept me, then one day you would grow to love me? We'd go out, and live happily ever after?"** He shook his head, **"This isn't a manga, Life doesn't have a storybook ending."**Kagami looked down fiercely at Kuroko trying to keep in the emotions, but it wasn't working.

Kuroko eyes gave Kagami's a fleeting glance, he was unsure of what he was saying and why. **"I don't understand? How is raping me better than asking me out?"** He snarled,** "I might have said yes."**He broke down, globs of clear salty tears fell down into his sprawled blue hair. He closed his eyes, his breath was shaky and interrupted by him sharply drawing in breaths.

Kagami looked at Kuroko, the quiet and peaceful male was crying, and he was the cause. He couldn't believe those words. They couldn't be true, **"How could you say yes? you're with that smug bastard Aomine and not me,"** A single tear rolled down his nose dropping to Kuroko's cheek merging with Kuroko's tears. **"I saw it,"**His chest tightened, he could barely breath.

Kagami was stopped by a sound ringing in his head, and his vision going blurry as he felt A hard impact on the side of his face. Kuroko had struck him. Kuroko's brow was furrowed deep, as he swallowed roughly. **"I was never with him,"** He shook his head before wiping his eyes. **"I was never with anyone... but you..."**His face fell and he said no more, just lay there sobbing.

Kagami leaned down Kissing Kuroko. At first Kuroko tried to push him away, struggling but soon he lay still accepting it. He could feel Kagami's lips, and soon tongue swirling in his mouth. It felt… good, as sick and twisted as it sounded. Kuroko actually enjoyed the kiss; maybe he was under the effects of traumatic bonding, or maybe... deep down he actually like Kagami. He had stopped crying, and just stared at Kagami unblinking. Kagami pulled away from the kiss, viewing Kuroko with sad eyes.

**"I … I love you."** He breathed.


	3. Heartfelt Emotions

I've finally written chapter three! I wrote this for all those following this story. Thanks, hope you enjoy this chapter.

This is a yaoi. and it is rated m.

(side note: i do not own these characters but i own the right to make fabulous smut about them... :D )

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Three simple words, that were tied to so many feelings. Kuroko didn't know how to take those words. He didn't fully understand them. His mouth watered and his hands grew clammy. He could only stare at the red haired maniac, who was above him. He could barely breath, he was unsure of everything. He liked the kiss and even had found some pleasure in... that. He blinked, the sound of their breathing was the only thing that kept the silence at bay.

**"I..You..."** Kuroko spoke, he felt he had to say something to Kagami. At least express himself, for once in his life he wanted the focus to be on him. **"I don't know you,"** His voice cracked but no more tears fell. **"Not this you,"** Kuroko reached forward his hand brushing against Kagami's cheek. His blue eyes wavering, as he fought back the tears of remorse and shame. **"The Kagami i know is fierce, and loyal,"** He looked up pain etched in his face.** "Someone who rubs my head, and laughs with me."** His words were soft, delicate' filled with Kuroko's fragile emotions.

Kagami felt ashamed, and unsure. He knew he wasn't acting like himself, he knew his behavior was out of character but he couldn't control it. **"Forgive me,"** He whispered looking with his once fierce eyes now soft. **"Please,"** He moved his hand rubbing Kuroko's blue messy hair. He stared at Kuroko for a long time. Not hearing him accept his apology. After what seemed like ages, he stood. Moving away from Kuroko, **"I'm still me,"** He smiled a broken smile before leaving.

Kuroko sat up, ignoring the throbbing in his back and in his heart. He held a pillow against his chest trying to still himself. He stared at the door, not looking away as he sat there heavy emotions pressing on his heart.

Kuroko walked down the hallway, no one noticed him, nothing new. His footsteps the only thing that seemed to reveal his presence. He stood outside the gym doors, he could here the squeak of shoes against the floor the sound of the ball thudding against the floor, the shouts of those practicing. He rest his palm against the door, wondering if he had the strength to see everyone.

His thoughts were answered when the door opened, Riko stood there looking at him. ** "Welcome back, you feeling well enough to play?"** She grabbed Kuroko and pulled him along, for someone who was asking him if he was well, she sure was pushing him to play. Kuroko had no time to say anything, he was suddenly thrust out onto the court. The game began, fast paced and hard for practice. Kuroko was felt at ease on the court, like his worries were being focused on the sport.

He moved forward, slipping past Shun and passing the ball to Kiyoshi without delay. A normal play, something he use to do with Kagami. He stood still, swallowing roughly as a single tear fell from his eye and rolled down his cheek. **"Kuroko's crying,"** Koga announced loudly,** "what's wrong?"** He added looking concerned.

Kuroko looked up, he was crying? He bit his lip, trying to come up with the right words. Something to say, so his upperclassmen didn't worry. He felt a hard impact in the back of his head and stumbled forward.** "I don't know what's going on between you two, but you should go resolve it."** Hyuga spoke. He was aware that Kuroko and Kagami were fighting, or at least that something was wrong between the two. He intended to have them fix it before the next match. Kuroko looked at Hyuga, he was right. He had to do something. He mumbled thanks before rushing out of the gym.

He wasn't sure where Kagami was, but since he wasn't at practice there was only a few places he could try. His feet his the pavement hard as he ran, trying to escape wouldn't work he had to face this. His pace slowed as he passed their spot, a local fast-food establishment. He slowed to a stop as he looked in, Kagami was sitting there, eating. Kuroko stared at the redhead, who unlike him held such a presence. He couldn't take his eyes away.

He entered the shop, and even though the door chimed, no one looked his way. He walked towards their table, the very one which they had first shared. Kagami was the first to notice him, their eyes meeting each others. Kuroko felt his chest tighten as Kagami noticed him, he was the one person He felt the desire to be noticed by. Kuroko stood still, trying to calm down so his voice wouldn't shake. He was nervous and anxious and scared, but he had to say something.

**"I can't forget what you did,"** He sputtered, his hands clenching and his eyes staring at the floor.** "It hurt me. Physically and emotionally."** He could feel the heavy emotions in the pit of his stomach, swirling and making him sick. **"Yet my heart hurts more when i think about losing you,"** Kuroko took a sharp breath, looking up at Kagami. Who was looking at him, with a soft expression.

**"I want you,"** His hand clutched his chest,** "I don't want to slip into the darkness."** His voice cracked as he spoke. Others were looking, paying attention to him, and it was Kagami's influence that made him noticeable. More tears were forming, trickling down his face; soon his eyes would barely open from the amount he was crying. He wondered what would release him from this torment in his heart.

He didn't see Kagami stand up, but he felt him hug him. The larger male hugging him firmly. Kuroko should have felt disgust, and shame at Kagami but he felt warm, safe. Safe? Kuroko felt safe. He felt SAFE. He settled his head against Kagami's broad chest, his arm reaching round Kagami, hugging him as his tears slowed.

When their embrace was ending Kuroko looked up at Kagami's face and was pleasantly surprised at the pink hue of Kagami's cheeks. **"Everyone is looking,"** Kagami said trying to hide his face in embarrassment. Kuroko lead Kagami outside, away from those inside. They walked in silence, neither saying a word. They knew where they were headed, it was where they belonged. The one place they could be free; the basketball court.

They played one on one, neither one of them keeping score. They played until both were out of breath and sweaty. A good game, one where they placed their trust in one another. Kuroko huffed out of breath and tired against playing against the strong and stupid Kagami. Kagami smiled at him, a goofy pleased smile. It made Kuroko feel secure. They were getting ready to leave each about to go their separate way, both turning to say a final goodbye. Kuroko looked at kagami's red eyes, and felt the nausea. He couldn't stop it, it was too strong. The words slipped out like vomit, nothing stopping them.

**"I think i love you."**

He didn't know what Kagami would say, or even do, but he had said it. He had freed his emotions, had admitted to his feelings. He couldn't forget the violation, but he still felt his heart yearn for Kagami. There was nothing he could do, he was too caught up in Kagami's light to get away.


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